There was a stint of time during my New York City years (Fall/Winter 1999-2000) when I had the misfortune of living on 109th Street. Even though I’m now hearing that it’s supposedly a desirable street because Barack Obama once lived there, I found my particular pad to be anything but desirable. In fact, I lived in the basement and truly believed that I’d hit rock bottom. My boyfriend at the time (whom I will call Frankie) did not share my perspective. In fact, he was convinced that he’d struck gold.
I shrieked as a rat scurried across my path and ran for cover in a nearby alley. I was following behind Frankie as we climbed ten cement steps and entered a large, white painted brick building that was soon to be called home.
Frankie, in his Brooklynese dialect made a proud gesture and a grand sweep of his right hand as he pronounced, “Welcome home, Marg!” He proceeded to … [Read More...]
This isn’t one of my “typical” posts. And it won’t be as long, either. I basically wanted to write this just to say thank you to some very special people who have happened along through this blog. As you know, I am still very new at blogging and when I started back in June I was in a sort of learning curve phase. It took me a few months to feel comfortable sharing my thoughts and stories and, well, I guess I just needed that amount of time to learn and “find my voice.” One reason (and probably the biggest reason) that I’ve been able to share pieces of my life with you is because you have given me the confidence and determination to be myself and not have to hide myself. Thank you so much for that!
When I first started doing this a few months ago I was so worried about sounding “preachy.” I most certainly did NOT … [Read More...]
It’s weird looking back at what I once thought was my big break. Back then I defined “success” as making money and being seen as a Somebody. I thrived on the illusion that being accepted by other people was all that mattered. I was blinded by my ego. I’m not saying that I was egotistical or anything. Actually, it was quite the opposite: I was painfully shy and insecure. So my ego was all I had (or so I believed) to keep me going and enable me to feel as if I was staying afloat. But afloat of what? I wish I could reach back in time and grab the hand of that silly girl I used to be and shake her into reality.
It was the Fall of 1989, and New York City was entering its pre-holiday season. Manhattan was transforming itself into a land of enchantment. The window displays along Fifth Avenue were filled with color and … [Read More...]
I visited the Blessed Sacrament today. It’s been a few weeks since my last visit and I’ve missed going. Since I started watching my 5-month-old nephew, Simon, during the weekdays while his parents are at work, I’m pretty much tied to my house until my brother (his father) comes to pick him up around 3:15 pm. The church where I visit the Blessed Sacrament is 20 minutes from my house. Also, at 4:00 pm the ladies in the church office leave for the day and that’s when they lock the doors to the Perpetual Adoration chapel. By the time my brother actually takes off with Simon (usually about 10 or 15 minutes after he arrives to pick him up) I really don’t have enough time left to get to the church before they lock up. I feel really bad about that but I’m in a stuck position and there’s really nothing I can do about it. (It isn’t available for … [Read More...]
My early days in New York City were filled with one scam artist after another. It was so hard to know the difference at times and I was way too trusting of people. I had no one paving the way ahead of me; no older sister or brother, no actor or actress friend to take me under their wing and show me the ropes. I was on my own in a city full of deception and lies. Instead of placing all my trust in God, I was trusting all kinds of strange people who promised me the stars, the moon and everything in between.
During my first year in the city I met this guy named Arnold who claimed to have all sorts of contacts in the modeling and acting fields. He introduced me to a famous personality named Jack (in order to protect his identity I’ve changed his name,) a photographer named Jimmy and a crazy “manager” man named … [Read More...]
I was around eight years old when I first felt the signs of what I now believe to be severe childhood stress. These signs came in the form of debilitating headaches. I remember coming home from school one day, convinced that I had a brain tumor. That day a girl in my class had gotten dizzy and passed out and some of the kids were saying that it was a brain tumor. I had never heard of a brain tumor before but assumed that it was a very bad thing.
Late that afternoon I was lying on the living room couch, still wearing my Catholic school uniform. It was plaid and ugly with a silly red polyester tie that the girls had to wear around their necks. It crossed in an X shape and snapped in front. I was always envious of the boys because they got to wear normal clothes. That tie combined with the itchy polyester jumper which … [Read More...]
A Catholic priest came to my home a couple of days ago to bless my house and rid it of an evil presence. Unfortunately, the priest only stayed about ten minutes and I got the feeling that he didn’t really believe there was anything wrong. He blessed my house and sprinkled some holy water around, but he was rushing through the procedure and I found him to be rather dismissive.
My mom was on her way over so that she could be in on the blessing, but he came early and left before she’d even arrived. You are probably wondering what my mom has to do with an evil presence. Nothing, except for the fact that she has given me hours of her time and energy over the last several months as I have been battling this phenomenon. She has even contacted a couple of priests on my behalf (including this one) simply because of the fact that I am single and … [Read More...]
When I was in my twenties and living in New York City, I learned very quickly what I needed to do when I was making the rounds. Making the rounds in the world of an actor or actress meant approaching agents’ and casting directors’ offices and slipping photos and resumes under their doors in the high hopes that you would eventually be called in for an interview or audition. DO NOT PHONE OR VISIT were the warning words posted on most of the doors with the intention of shooing away unwanted riff-raff (a.k.a. aspiring talent) that had the nerve to attempt contact.
I schlepped my shoulder bag of photos and resumes all over Manhattan, delivering my materials from building to building. One day it rained so hard my feet were soaked to the bone. And as I tripped in a dirty puddle on my way to the 42nd Street subway, I could feel the wetness seep into my socks, making its way to the … [Read More...]
A priest is coming to my home on Saturday to do a house blessing because he believes I’ve been a victim of diabolic infestation. As you know if you’ve read my previous post, ever since last year I’ve been experiencing strange and disturbing occurrences in my home. I haven’t felt the least bit physically threatened, but I will admit to being scared and to sleeping with the light on. In my previous post I talked about an upside down mouse pad and an eerie footprint left on my car floor mat. I also talked briefly about doors being found open when I knew I had closed them. I had indicated that there were just too many incidences to include everything in that particular post, so I am now going to continue where I left off:
One evening during Thanksgiving weekend of last year, I was assisting my dog, Brinkley, into the back seat of my car where he sits when we … [Read More...]
Yesterday was my birthday, and as I reflected back on this past year and the past decade I got to thinking about how each one of us has our own individual calling and a purpose in life. I’m at the point where I’m wondering if perhaps I’ve missed something along the way in not having a family; not having a husband and a child or children. It’s not that I didn’t want to have a family, it’s just that for some reason it hasn’t happened. Yet?
We all have a purpose in life; a unique plan that God has mapped out for us from birth. I found this interesting article that discusses what it means to say that God is calling us. As I’ve gone through the years trying to find my way through this crazy maze of life, I’ve also tried to learn from all of my experiences and improve upon what didn’t work and expand upon what did. … [Read More...]
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Hello, my name is Margo. When I was 23 years old and working as a part-time nanny in New York City I had the pleasure of caring for a little 5-year-old boy named Alexander. One day I had been overcome with sadness and in a weak moment, I found myself confiding to this little boy about a friend I couldn't find because he was lost. Alexander, quickly responded without missing a beat, “Follow a trail!” [