Freedom from Bondage: A Reader’s Story

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the weaponThe other day a comment was posted by an anonymous person who shares his story of being freed from the bondage of pornography and sexual sins by praying the Holy Rosary. I thought it would be worth posting here for anyone who may not already have read it.

Comment by an anonymous reader:

You speak the truth here… “Satan is terrified of Our Lady and when we pray the Holy Rosary we are destroying vice and conquering the evils around us. It may not seem like anything is changing or that evil is fleeing, but we have to give it time! The priest who blessed my house a year ago told me that prayer takes time; the answers don’t necessarily come overnight. In fact, in my experience, they never come overnight!”

i have first hand experience in this and it was very convincing that the rosary really does work (it’s the closest thing i have come to witnessing a miracle with my own eyes and i am not the type to claim ‘miracle’ for every little thing like some people do either) as before that worked i just assumed i had no chance of overcoming the sexual vice (masturbation/pornography) that plagued me for a long time. so the following is going to be great information for many people who struggle with this in today’s world given how easy it is to access it and how easily many of us guys (and probably some females to) can fall into it…

it took a bit less than 3 months of saying the rosary every day for it to work in my particular case (for other people it might be quicker or it might take longer) on that sin that was happening on a regular basis (say once every day or two) for an easy 10-15+ years for me and i have not even slipped once and it’s been over 4 months now since it just suddenly stopped and i could resist the urge to give into the temptation and not long after that(about a week later), which was critical to stopping this sin/vice, another thing happened which had never before and how i knew it was likely for real that i would stop with the sin, is that i actually could delete ALL pornography off of my computer etc voluntarily (which i had built up over many years) and i did not care either (and i don’t even look at pornography anymore either as i know that’s critical in avoiding that sin as if i went back into looking at that it would be a matter of time before i caved into the temptation) as before i would miss it too much to do that which i would have NEVER done had it not been for the graces (gods graces) i obtained through the rosary which as you said slowly build up over a period of time. so while 3 months of saying the rosary every day sounds like a long time, especially considering it takes at least 30-35 minutes minimum to properly say the rosary, that was very fast considering the situation.

but obviously i continue to say the rosary every day otherwise it would be a matter of time before i crack and fall back into the vice as right now even though it’s only been 4 months, which is pretty much a miracle i made it this far already(as before without prayer i would be very lucky to make it a week or two and even that was only once in a great while), i actually feel confident i can continue to resist those temptations that come my way (which i believe those temptations cannot be completely stopped as i think the lord said that somewhere if i recall correctly but with his graces you can win the battle) from time to time as that sexual urge does not come on in your heart like a freight train now (i.e. it don’t get as intense) like where you crave it as you can actually fight it off with our lady’s/the lords help (i.e. gods grace i have obtained though the rosary).

also, which helps aid in my victory over this sin is that besides stopping that sin and deleting the pornography, my impure thoughts have also plummeted to as before you used to dwell on it in your heart and now i can feel that i can keep my mind off of the impure thoughts much easier and even when you get a bit of those impure thoughts in your head occasionally you can shift your mind off of it much easier and that feeling of lust don’t sink into your heart as i think i actually understand this quote now given what i have experienced… “but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” ; as i think i actually understand that now given my situation as you can kind of feel the difference of letting those impure thoughts set in vs when they are kind of in your mind but you try to get off of them as quickly as possible before you can feel them set into your heart and then once they go beyond a certain point you inevitably cave into the temptation to that sin. anyone who was in my situation will know exactly what i am talking about here.

also, i think what ultimately lead me to the above is that i had a accidecent a while back (which in short… was the worst thing in my life so far but led me away from sin in the end so far) that got me back into going to chruch every week (as i was not going to church almost at all for a good 10-15 years or so even though i did still believe in God and i am a Catholic) and then i started saying an Our Father and some Hail Mary’s each day and that eventually lead into me saying The Rosary which i can see why Padre Pio calls it his weapon given what happened for me. there is other stuff i pray for to but a lot of what i pray for i won’t be able to see the results (like to keep females away from abortion or for the souls in purgatory etc) but given what happened above i just know it’s helping even though i can’t see the results.

so basically you need to persevere in prayer (especially the rosary every day) even when you don’t feel like doing it. do it anyways and take your time with it and have patience as the rosary is priceless but many won’t see it because it’s generally a spiritual thing and people are impatient and want results NOW but, like you said, it generally does not work that way.

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Comments

  1. I always search for rosary testimonies online. And each day I am able to read atleast a small one. But never read such a beautiful testimony. The person here has actually mentioned a great point to persevere in rosary. Many times I have gone depresed after saying a rosary or two for a special intention. But now whatever my problem is I am going to say the rosary continously.

  2. Anonymous says:

    @ Annu ; i am the person who posted that message and i am glad i inspired you to persevere in saying The Rosary continuously (i.e. once a day) as i kind of figured that much of a detailed article explaining exactly what happened for me would, hopefully, inspire people to say The Rosary often because there is no way i could have said that in real life to anyone as it’s too embarrassing even though it’s the truth (but people need to hear real stories like that and thank god for anonymity online). i know i should go to confession for what happened but it’s kind of difficult to confess that (and some other sins i have done in the past. but mainly the one in the topic since i have done that one A LOT (i.e. easily hundreds, but probably thousands of times) in the past.) to a priest(which is kind of like a stranger to me) as i am not the type of person who says much to people i don’t know well. i know that sin i committed might be a mortal sin(i know technically it is), so i don’t receive communion at mass to be safe(since i heard you could increase your punishment if you receive communion in a state of mortal sin), but it makes me wonder if it was not a true mortal sin (which i talk about the 3 things required for mortal sin to take place below) since i think a genuine mortal sin removes god completely from your life until you confess(?) and being that i can resist this temptation God must reside within me (at least to some degree) which means i can’t be cut off from him otherwise there is no way i could resist the temptation, right?. plus, i read there has to be three things known in order for it to be a mortal sin… 1)It must be of a grave matter 2)It must be committed with full knowledge that it is a mortal sin 3)It must be committed with full consent. ; while i knew it was a serious sin for many years now i never actually wanted to offend god (if that counts?) but it was just impossible to resist that sin (like it got to the point you would not even try to resist it for a while and then every now and then you would try but inevitably fail(which i did not know at that time the effectiveness of prayer and more specifically The Rosary)) and i never knew how effective prayer was, but i surely do now. that’s why i think it’s even more important i never fall back into that sin because i have a feeling i will likely be punished much more severely since i seen/felt the effects of prayer, first hand, to get me out of this situation and God knows that i know this now. i am not speaking out against confession though (which would be wrong of me) since it gives graces etc by doing it. but it’s just very hard confess this sin to a priest as even back in the day when i went to confession i never actually confessed everything (like what’s said in the topic) which i know is not a good thing. but back then i just don’t think i could have stopped even if i did confess them being my prayer life was basically zero or close to it and there is no way i would have taken people seriously back then that prayer etc works. i just pray that god has mercy on my soul as i don’t want to offend him with serious sins anymore as that’s the only sin i am aware of that i committed of serious matter. also, i should have added to my main post that i never even knew of the ’15 promises of The Rosary’ either as i found that out at a later date (about it ‘destroying vice’ and ‘decrease sin’) after i stopped with the sin i described in the main post in here and eventually found it online. but as they say the lord works in mysterious ways as i know that the accident i had a while ago, which caused me internal suffering (since it’s technically a brain injury) at times from it, ultimately lead me where i am at today. side note: St Padre Pio also said, “”If you succeed in overcoming temptation, it will have the same effect that washing has on soiled linen.” ; which basically means it has a cleansing effect on the soul if you don’t give into the temptations. or another quote, “I understand that temptations seem to tarnish, rather than to purify the spirit; but let us hear what the saints have to say, and for that purpose it suffices to choose Saint Francis de Sales from among so many: ‘Temptations are like soap, which, when spread over the clothes, seems to stain them, but in reality, purifies them’.” ; just some thoughts and have a good day and i am glad i helped push someone in the right direction with my main post in the topic. but ultimately it’s god who gets the credit as if it where not for him i would not be here right now saying all of this stuff since he’s the one (through Mary in heaven in The Rosary) who brought me out of the life of sin i was living. @Annu -

  3. Anonymous2 says:

    @Anonymous
    Anonymous, thanks for your post and your subsequent comment. The Lefebvrist SSPX has just exhorted its priests in America to speak out frequently against the sin of Impurity as it seems to plague their male faithful. I’m now a grandfather, but I’ve had problems with impure thoughts for as long as I can remember. We say the family Rosary everyday but I seem to switch off as soon as we start. Following your post, I’ll do my best to say the Rosary with concentration and purpose. Supposedly a fully practicing Catholic, I have yet to make a single sacrifice this Lent! I stumbled on this website just today. God bless you all!

  4. Anonymous says:

    Anonymous2 said, “The Lefebvrist SSPX has just exhorted its priests in America to speak out frequently against the sin of Impurity as it seems to plague their male faithful.”

    Yeah, i can guarantee that’s happening a lot as us guys can’t resist all of the porn etc out there nowadays as it’s WAY to tempting and easy to obtain with the internet and i can guarantee there is a TON of guys who are in a similar situation as myself as it’s way to easy to access and given i know how guys think they are inevitably going to cave into the temptation without a constant flow of prayer (i.e. The Rosary everyday). but good luck trying to get them to take prayer seriously as like i mentioned in my reply to Annu above there is no way i would have taken prayer seriously a while ago especially given you don’t really feel to much while praying (there might be a calming effect to some degree though). but like the quote in main topic said, prayer works slowly over a period of time.

    but i guess if they could read my post above that’s probably the only way they might take prayer seriously seeing someone with first hand experience explain what happens when they are slowly freed from it as i imagine those who are freed from it will experience a very similar situation as myself. because you can guarantee praying The Rosary everyday (and pretty much everyday is going to be critical because only doing it once in a while won’t be enough in my opinion) for them WILL work simply because it’s safe to assume that it would be God’s will for them to avoid a similar situation as myself since that will push them away from God (being it’s technically a serious sin) and something like that is critical to stop if you are going to grow spiritually and become closer to God (i know sometimes it can be hard to tell what’s Gods will as sometimes what you want won’t be inline with what his will is etc but in this particular case it’s safe to assume he will help you). so this is something i feel you are guaranteed to overcome if you persevere in praying The Rosary every day (i typically take around 40min-1hour to say The Rosary myself for whatever that’s worth. but i said the 30-35 minutes minimum in my initial post mostly because i feel going much faster than that and you will probably be just ‘going-threw-the-motions’ at that point in which the prayer probably won’t be effective if you are not focused on the mysteries of The Rosary and what you are saying. but i know it can be hard not to drift off at times during prayer but i just try to re-group and continue. also, i heard something about your intention (like your genuine intention to pray The Rosary well) can be pleasing to God to and count for something).

    also, come to think of it… if i recall correctly, i don’t even think i actually prayed to stop with that sin i commit a lot over the years (since i figured it was probably not going to happen even though i knew it was wrong to do it) but it just suddenly happened in a bit less than 3 months of praying The Rosary every day (i might have missed a day once in a while but it was minimal) like i mentioned.

    Anonymous2 said, “I’m now a grandfather, but I’ve had problems with impure thoughts for as long as I can remember.”

    Yeah, i think it’s inevitable for us guys to have those sometimes given our fallen nature as humans. especially those of us who don’t pray on a regular basis (which is a lot of people), but i can honestly say my impure thoughts have dropped a lot vs what they used to be as you don’t sit there for a while and fantasize about sexual situations (i don’t need to get into details as i am sure you get the idea) for a while which drives your heart to crave them more as i am sure you already are well aware of. now if they pop into my head occasionally when i see certain things on TV or movies it’s much easier to shift your mind off of the impure thoughts.

    also, and i am not sure if i would be allowed to say this(but it should be clean enough for me to say it), but even when you can feel the temptation to that particular sin set for me now (being i can resist it so far as it don’t get overwhelming like it used to, like i already mentioned) in your, lets just call it ‘private part’, it does not get into that full blown ‘standing tall’ level and only gets mildly excited as you can control it to which i imagine is some side effect of not letting it (the sexual temptation) set into your heart etc to where you crave it and then *BAM* it’s ‘standing tall’ etc.

    Anonymous2 said, “Following your post, I’ll do my best to say the Rosary with concentration and purpose.”

    Yes, try that as God can only expect so much from us. like i was saying above, it can be easy for your mind to drift off with worldly things but just keep on trying to stay focused on the mysteries of The Rosary and try to concentrate on the prayers you are saying to as best as you can and the lord/our lady will do the rest in due time.

    but with what happened for me i can now see why it’s recommended to say The Rosary daily, especially in today’s world where temptations are pretty much everywhere.

    Anonymous2 said, “Supposedly a fully practicing Catholic, I have yet to make a single sacrifice this Lent!”

    to be completely honest with you, i don’t and have never (or at least not for a long time) given up anything during lent as all i do is the required stuff which is don’t eat meat on Friday’s and the whole first Wednesday before lent with the two small meals and one large meal thing with no eating between meals and then the Friday just before Easter Sunday. also, speaking of this… even when i did not go to church for a long time i still tried to keep inline with lent as once in a while i would forget and accidentally eat meat on a Friday but considering i legitimately forgot i don’t think God will hold that against me. but so far i have not slipped during this lent and i don’t think i will as those slips are fairly rare.

    but i guess if i where to give up something during lent, like i should be doing, i would have to make it realistic as if i aim to high ill probably fail and give into it and if i make it too easy then it won’t really be a real sacrifice. so i need to find something that’s not easy, but not to hard which can be hard in itself.

    also before i leave here is a quote i noticed online a while ago which is the truth in my mind… “No one can live continually in sin and continue to say the Rosary. Either he will give up the sin or he will give up the Rosary” – Bishop Patrick Boyle

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